God's grace is a matter of the heart

My husband and I sat outside our house to watch the beautiful sun bidding her goodbye for the day. It's always a good time to talk and reminisce God's blessings to our family. In the course of our intimate conversation, I have asked my husband this question, "Are you happy now that we are here in Australia?" He replied with a big, "YES". He threw the question back to me but I was surprised that I couldn't wholehearted reply the same answer. Instead, I heard me saying, "Hhhhmmm, I don't know. Not really." What was going on? What was bothering me? What is going on with my heart? It was time to take a "heart-check and survey". Our world today is dominated by "rules". Countries around the world are set with legislations of law and order and for these systems to work, people under it are subject to these laws and are expected to obey, no matter what, including giving away our hard-earned income to absurd taxes! Not fair, isn't it? I confess I am a "rule" person and I live by them. Most often I outdo my own. Give me a list of it to follow and I’m happy. I can follow rules like nobody’s business. My left-brain dominated thinking likes order and routine, blanketed with no surprises. There’s some comfort, I guess, in being able to assess my performance according to a set standard. If I’m obeying the rules, I must be doing okay. Right? There’s one big problem with that line of thinking and realized I have been too hard on myself. I make a list of excuses saying, "That's just me" or "So what, I'm a good person and I follow rules" or "I'm just tired." But really, it redirects my focus from what really matters: the condition of my heart. It seems God continually brings me to the end of my endurance, both emotionally and physically, to reveal the truth about my heart. What’s revealed in those moments of pressure is usually something that needs addressing: like selfishness, insecurity, jealousy or bitterness. Getting split apart isn’t pleasant. In fact, it’s often painful and embarrassing. Yet, it’s required if I want to become a true follower of Christ. I somehow relate this to the most controversial global economic issue. Here's a good article my good friend forwarded to me today. It says, "When debt is fraudulent, debt forgiveness is the logical and only remedy." This is the opening line from a website article dealing with Debt Forgiveness, that channels such as Quinsy and Nidle have spoken of repeatedly, not forgetting NESARA. This mail crossed my desk today and is linked to a second article dealing with the same subject. "Finally serious economists are considering a position I have been maintaining and writing about since the 2008 financial meltdown. Whatever its name— erasure, repudiation, abolishment, cancellation, jubilee—debt forgiveness, will have to eventually emerge forefront in global efforts to solve an ongoing systemic financial crisis." The above article is boiled down to one word and one word alone. GRACE. The condition of my heart and God's grace, How do they operate together? How is this connected to my present predicament? If I operate in Grace, I wouldn't have to be so concerned about power play just to gain respect and not having to live like a robot , like a wind tossed to and fro going nowhere empty. If I breath Grace, and with each breath is a reminder of the gift of life paid on the cross. If I serve in Grace, with each opportunity, is to give and serve done with joy and rejoicing at the pleasure of sharing my love and time and material goods. If I parent in Grace, I share the wisdom and knowledge gained through this life in a loving way to my children. If I listen with Grace, I honor and nurture the still small voice that comes from deep within and to honor the wisdom of those placed in my life to teach me. And lastly, if I live by Grace, I open my heart in each moment and let grace flow through and from me. I often blame my plight of issues with the government: (If they’d lower the tax rates, I could have more savings) and hold them liable for the global crisis and suffering of this world. And if United Nations and the Central Bank simply apply Debt Forgiveness to Washington, the world would be a little less chaotic. Many a time, too, I point at fingers at people that take advantage of others' goodness and thoughtfulness and not considering goodness is freely given and freely received. If I think of these things, I'll just tire myself to bits. Today, I said David's prayer, “Create in me a new heart, O God . . .” I am reminded that Real Change is an inside job. I could alter things a day or two with money, rules, and systems, but the heart of the matter is and always will be, the matter of the heart. Once resolved, a new perspective begins. God's grace is made more evident in our lives. Have you had a "heart-check and survey" lately? May you have a blissful week, dear friends!

A day of reckoning

It's been a while since I wrote. But this was a day of reckoning.

Is civilization coming to an end? Christian, it makes you think, don't you? The signs of the times are visible around us. Just look at this:

"wars and rumors of wars" - Matt. 24:6

Endless war seem to rage in Iraq and Afghanistan and the war on terrorism is spreading to nearly every corner of the globe. Since 2000 alone, America has been mired in conflict in Sierra Leone, Yemen, East Timor, Afghanistan, Philippines, Cote d'Ivoire, Iraq, Liberia, Georgia, Haïti, Pakistan, Lebanon, Somalia, and recently, Egypt.

"Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom." - Matt 24:7

Other conflicts are raging in Darfur, Saudi Arabia, Central African Republic, Democratic Republic of Congo, Thailand, Chad, Gaza Strip and the West Bank in Israel, Niger and Mali, Kenya, and Sri Lanka.

"There will be famines and earthquakes in various places." - Matt 24:7

Every year, earthquakes cause thousands of deaths, either directly or due to the resulting tsunamis, landslides, fires, massive floods, volcano eruptions, and famines.

"Woe unto them who call evil, good, and good, evil" -Isaiah 5:20

Man has pushed the self-destruct button. Foundations of godliness have crumbled; things sacred have come unzipped. We have embraced the pagan teachings while rejecting the time proven commandments of God. We are trying to build a peaceful world, but there is no peace within people's hearts.

"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me." Matt 24:9

Hatred and Discrimation of christians. It's all over!

And much, much more.

Our Lord told us not to be troubled, because these are only the beginning of "birth pains" [Matt. 24:8]. I believe that God is warning the world. The world has broken His covenant and has gone away from Him and these events are warnings designed to turn us to Him. And what we have seen thus far is just a prelude. The warnings are going to continue during the next few years, even building in intensity. After these warnings, the real judgment is going to come.

"So when you see standing in the holy place 'the abomination that causes desolation,' spoken of through the prophet Daniel--let the reader understand-- then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains. Let no one on the roof of his house go down to take anything out of the house. Let no one in the field go back to get his cloak. How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! Pray that your flight will not take place in winter or on the Sabbath. For then there will be great distress, unequaled from the beginning of the world until now--and never to be equaled again. If those days had not been cut short, no one would survive, but for the sake of the elect those days will be shortened. At that time if anyone says to you, 'Look, here is the Christ!' or, 'There he is!' do not believe it. For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect--if that were possible. See, I have told you ahead of time. "So if anyone tells you, 'There he is, out in the desert,' do not go out; or, 'Here he is, in the inner rooms,' do not believe it. For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. Wherever there is a carcass, there the vultures will gather. - Matthew 24:15-28

A day of reckoning will come. There will be an end.

The big question is this: Are you ready?

The Big 40

JOURNAL ENTRY: October 3, 2008

I stopped counting at 33. Whenever someone asks for my age, I can easily figure it out with a little math by calculating the sum between my natal year and the current year. I bet you’ve done that too!

I just turned 40 today and I feel great! I was actually looking forward to this day for the past months. But am I ready for the inevitable? Where am I now? What’s in it for me?

I was bombarded with these questions. Fortunately, answers came rushing through from the back of my head.

Along with juggling a busy life, I’m also dealing with a great amount of change. I am entering a new stage of life and facing challenges that I have never faced before.

The BIG 40. Some say life starts here. How so?

Firstly, I now have specific nutritional needs that are much different from those of men and younger women. I have bouts of sudden mood swings, headaches, cravings, and all the other issues of pre menopause, so they say. It's crazy, but it’s true! There was a time in my journey when I looked in the mirror and—yikes!—where did that paunchy middle come from? I seem to gain weight overnight while battling fatigue, irritability, and all kinds of body aches!

Then, a need to forever tag along my reading glasses and catching myself plucking a few stubs of silver hair every now and then while launching two handsome boys into adulthood... the wake up call…. Yes, I’m definitely here.

Secondly, I have a better view of where I am heading. My priorities are in order. I’m done on the side of distraction by that gnawing voice inside of me. I guess I learned the lesson that too much inward focus can be stifling. It inhibited my ability to act, my inability to interact with others, and my service to my Saviour as well. It inhibited my ability to really grow.

For the past months prior to this day, I realized that when I started to begin to believe and not fear, act according to my faith, and decide to reach out and care, I found the answers to my questions! I felt more energized. Otherwise I continue to spin around and around and feel old! It's dizzying and confusing and oftentimes, I was led to make choices that take me out of my life’s mission.

The Almighty has been good to me. I have a beautiful family, a house filled with love and activity and a community full of opportunities!

So I'm moving forward.

I’m 40 and I’m glad I know where I am, who I am, my life’s purpose and mission in life. I have so much hope where forgotten dreams are coming to fruition! I will find myself doing things I have never done before!

My prayer is to shine for Jesus, and make a difference for the glory of my Father in heaven!

Praise Him!

What about... DREAMS?

(In my dream, I saw myself on this ship... I think I know where this is at ... ah... that's between me and my God )

I was just reading a recent post of my friend’s: It will take Forever. Talking about dreams... there's this saying from a certain Asian guy that says, "Who looks outside, dreams, Who looks inside awakens". And another that mentions one of the three things in life that are never certain, "Dreams".

I dream a lot... you may say, I'm a dreamer. I am. I have dreams for my family, for myself and most of all, I dream that someday, I will arrive at the place and dwell in the house of my Heavenly Father forever!

Spiritually speaking, according to Bryan Carraway, in his article, “A Theological Look at Spiritual Dreams”, dreams are one of the most overlooked forms of communication used by God. The Word of God consistently reveals God as speaking to people through this universally experienced and mysterious phenomenon.

The Lord uses dreams for a variety of purposes:

- to warn global leaders of future events. (Gen. 41:1-8)- to provide revelation to His prophets Num. (12:6)- to warn us against certain decisions. (Matt. 27:17-19)- to reveal His divine destiny for our lives. (Gen. 37:5-8)- to answer our recent petitions and prayers. (I Kings 3:5-15)
Acts 2:17 confirms that God continues to use dreams as a means of communication in the New Testament age. Since this is the case the question must be asked, "Are all dreams from God?" Are we to wake up every morning looking for some hidden, spiritual message in our dreams? The answer is no.

Dreaming is a natural physiological function that is common to every human being and is necessary for maintaining adequate mental and emotional health. If one is deprived of REM sleep (the sleep cycle at which dreaming occurs) for a substantial length of time the person can incur serious medical and mental complications. So while most of our dreams are just the result of natural human functioning, every Christian needs to be aware that sometimes God uses this natural function in a supernatural way.

When to know a dream is from God, i.e. a "spiritual dream," and when it's just a natural dream can sometimes be hard to discern. No doubt it's a very subjective experience but most of us have had the feeling that some dreams are not like the rest. The images linger, the emotions are strongly affected, and we get this feeling that what we just experienced is a message from above; a message that needs explanation. When we do receive a spiritual dream they are usually one of three types.

1. Warning Dream - This type is meant to warn us about some future attack from the enemy or some difficult time ahead. This could be a warning about a friend, spouse, or child. These are given so that we might pray and intercede for the individual. Often times the calamity is not decreed from above and through prayer the hardship can be avoided. Example from Scripture: Abimelech warned not to sleep with Abraham's wife. (Gen. 20:3-7)

2. Confirmation Dream - This dream simply confirms that what you believe to be true about a person or situation is in fact true. This type of dream is used to give you the emotional impetus to act on what you already know to be true but have thus far been unresponsive towards. Example from Scripture: Pilate's wife's dream confirming that her husband should release Jesus from custody. (Matt. 27:17-19)

3. Prophetic Dream - A dream which reveals the future concerning yourself, another individual, a nation, etc. Example from Scripture: As a 17 year old, Joseph dreamt about his future place of honor and high governmental service. (Gen. 37: 5-8)

Spiritual dreams are God's sole prerogative, so we must always be ready. When they do come we need to quickly record them and then begin to pray for the interpretation. Spiritual dreams when heeded, keep us in the will of God and remind us that we do indeed serve a God who knows us intimately and who takes the time to speak to His children individually for our own safety and care.

As for me, I consider it as a gifting. God speaks to me in my dreams. Having to discern a dream takes confirmation in my spirit and His word. Yet, oftentimes, God reveals Himself to me through a prophetic dream, just before an event in my life happens.

My dreams are simple, yet, they give me hope and encouragement. Most of all, my dreams are from within, which God, Himself, the dream giver establishes. Lastly, my dreams are always certain, knowing that they are from the Father.

Servanthood in the Workplace

My being a nurse can be exhausting, frustrating, and degrading at times. Please don’t get me wrong. I am talking about some things that I encounter in the workplace that I often find difficult to deal with: co-workers and subordinates, doctors, nursing procedures that I have to perform for the first time, among others. By the time I begin an eight-hour rostered shift, chances of me getting a break in between is not possible. Meal breaks are usually done at the end of the shift! You don’t find me sitting down once I am on the move. Not that I don’t like what I am doing. Nursing is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I love being a nurse but the cost of being one is what’s stressful.

Division, tension, conflict; I encounter them in the workplace, a hostile environment for me as a christian. My mission is to portray Christ without stepping over the line of professional standards. Yet, it’s not easy. My weapon is to consistently be in prayer and to make a decision daily to “love and serve” others. If I remember that God himself assigned me my workstation, I will desire to do my best.

I remember the message my husband delivered during the yearly banquet for Operation Care Ministry earlier this year. There were several keys that he mentioned that made a significant impact in my life:

He stressed that if we want to find leaders in our midst, we find them among those with a servant’s heart. That’s an incredible thought. In church, I see them with smiling faces all the time while going diligently about their work. I never hear them complain and criticize others. They usually do the menial tasks. Yet, they work hard with excellence in whatever they are doing, without expecting anything in return.

If you want to be a servant, be available. In 2 Timothy 2:4, it says, “No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier”. A soldier is always ready to jump into service when called on. Being a servant means giving up the right to control your schedule and allowing God to interrupt it whenever He needs to.

Servants are always on the lookout for ways to help others and always sensitive to others’ cries. When we see a need, let’s try to seize the moment to meet it, just as the Bible commands, Galatians 6:10 “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers”. When God puts someone in need right in front of us, He is giving us the opportunity to grow in servanthood.

We do our best with what we have. If we have a servant’s heart, we don’t make excuses, procrastinate, or wait for better circumstances. Servants never say, “One of these days” or “When the time is right.” They just do what needs to be done. Ecclesiastes 11:4 “Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap”.(NIV) If we wait for perfect conditions, we will never get anything done. God expects us to do what we can, with what we have, wherever we are.

We don’t choose the kind of work we want to do. In Colossians 3:23 it says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men”. The size of the task is irrelevant. The only issue is, does it need to be done? If we want to excel, we don’t chose a work that’s convenient for us. It is in these small services that we grow like Christ. In the scriptures we notice that Jesus specialized in menial tasks that everyone else tried to avoid: washing feet, helping children, fixing breakfast, and serving lepers. Nothing was beneath him, because he came to serve. It wasn’t in spite of his greatness that he did these things, but because of it, and he expects us to follow his example (John 13:15). Small tasks often show a big heart. Great opportunities often disguise themselves in small tasks.

Servants are faithful to their work. Servants finish their tasks, fulfill their responsibilities, keep their promises and complete their commitments. They don’t leave a job half undone. They don’t quit when they get discouraged. They are trustworthy and dependable. Many people don’t know the meaning of commitment. These days, commitments are often too lightly made.

Servants displays humility. Servants don’t promote or call attention to themselves. Instead of acting to impress and dressing for success, they “put on the apron of humility, to serve one another” (1 Peter 5:5, TEV). If recognized for their service, they humbly accept it but don’t allow the recognition to distract them from their work. We must have a submissive spirit toward our employers, doing what we are asked to do without complaining or criticizing, building their trust in us. When we show we can be fully trusted, we "make the teaching about God our Savior attractive" (Titus 2:10).


1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

God shaped us for service, not for self-centeredness. Without a servant’s heart, we will be tempted to misuse our giftings and abilities for personal gain. Having a servant’s heart will reveal the depth of our maturity and it is seen in our life. The measure is our willingness to serve.

Our faith must be real, not fake. We must be honest and truthful, sincere in our desire to let the light within us shine for Christ in the workplace. If we are serving others as Christ would do, opportunities to share our faith will come. If we continue in prayer and in His Word, He will guide us as we bring the Good News into the workplace.

We can portray Christ and raise the standards in the workplace.

Tilapia deadly than bacon? You gotta be kidding me!

(Steamed Tilapia with lemon-butter sauce, a few spurts of mayo and pickled relish)

Two nights ago, I was in the company of great and wonderful friends composed of couples involved in different ministries in our church. As usual, the women talked about the daily grind of motherhood, wife to our husbands, other than attending to our careers. Our favorite topic is food, of course, and seems that recipes are always and forever exchanged, trying out new formulas and acquiring newfangled tastes.

I was surprised, however, when one of our men mentioned that Tilapia (sometimes referred to as sunshine snapper, cherry snapper, Nile Snapper and St. Peter's fish since it is thought to be the fish St. Peter caught in the Sea of Galilee, tilapia has been farmed in Israel for about 2,500 years) is more deadly, more fattening, and more dangerous to eat than bacon! You gotta be kidding me! My favorite protein-rich fish is deadly? I was fumed by this thought! How is that possible? I have been eating Tilapia all my life and I’m hearing this?

I was dedicated to find out more about this shocking news for this has really saddened me. Eliminate this favorite of mine from my diet and you'll find me marching down the street along with other freedom fighters! This is outrageously insane!

Tilapia is a freshwater fish that is abundantly cultured in the Philippines. They are also now being introduced in the southern regions of the United States and other tropical areas such as Hawaii. They are sold live, fresh and frozen — whole and fillets. The fine-tasting meat typically is white, although the meat of red skinned tilapia may have a reddish tint. A most agreeable fish, tilapia is great on the grill, broiled, baked, pan-fried or stir fried. In addition to its versatility, pleasant flavor and low calorie count, the retail price of tilapia remains reasonable in comparison to other seafood, thanks to the efficiencies of modern aquaculture. Tilapia also is known for taking on many of the flavors of the ingredients it’s cooked with. For example, cooking in a stir-fry with soy sauce and veggies gives it an Asian flair. Many cooks even combine it with "fruity" flavors such as cherries or lemons.

I have to wonder if researchers at Wake Forest University are second-thinking the wisdom of their statement that "the inflammatory potential of hamburger or pork bacon is lower than the average serving of farmed tilapia."
On the one hand, it certainly got the attention of the press. Hundreds of blogs and news outlets immediately ran with the obvious headline: Tilapia worse than bacon! Then, all the health experts had to go on record, saying how ridiculous it was to suggest that bacon is a better choice than tilapia.

In a nutshell, the researchers were simply pointing out that all fish are not nutritionally equivalent and that the American Heart Association's blanket recommendation to eat more fish in order to reduce risk of heart disease may be overly general.

We hear a lot about fish being a good source of omega-3 fats, which are anti-inflammatory and are thought to be a hedge against heart disease. But we usually don't hear much about the omega-6 content of fish. Omega-6 fats are pro-inflammatory and are generally thought of as "bad."

For one thing, some fish, such as salmon, are very rich in omega-3, where are others, such as tuna, grouper, and snapper, contain much less. More importantly, though, certain fish, especially farmed catfish, tilapia, and salmon have very high levels of omega-6 fatty acids, including a particularly inflammatory omega-6 called arachidonic acid. (This is likely due to the vegetable-oil enriched diet fed to farmed fish.)

Three of the most commonly eaten fish (tuna, farmed tilapia, and farmed catfish) actually contain more omega-6 than omega-3 fatty acids. And (drumroll, please) some of the tilapia sampled for this particular study contained more arachidonic acid (and less omega-3) than bacon or hamburger. Which is how they ended up with the statement, "the inflammatory potential of hamburger or pork bacon is lower than the average serving of farmed tilapia."

In fact, I would agree with that statement. However, I think I'd stop short of promoting bacon as a healthier choice. Although it may be lower in arachidonic acid, it's a whole lot higher in fat and calories. Excess calories can easily lead to fat storage which leads directly to inflammation.

So let's keep this all in perspective here, shall we?

1. Bacon, while perhaps not directly inflammatory, is high in fat and calories (not to mention sodium) and should probably be enjoyed in moderation.
2. Fish is a great source of high quality protein and can be a good source of beneficial omega-3 fats-- good for the heart!
3. If you're eating a lot of farmed tilapia and catfish (especially if you're doing so in an attempt to reduce your risk of heart disease) there are other fish that are probably better choices, such as wild salmon, sardines, and others.

So, my verdict? I’ll eat my Tilapia, steamed, and enjoy the benefits it gives to my body… only in moderation!

Ayos!

COLD White Walls and Shiny Floors

(What shall the future hold? My thoughts about nursing in a foreign land away from home)

Soon will there be long hours of walking, long walks of caring
When the sun sets, the shiny floors, everyday will I stride
With medical supplies, in my hand I shall cautiously grasp,
My long hair twisted in a bun, tied with a net, sheltered with a cap.
There’s no time to sit, my busy hands never go empty
A peek of my sunken eyes, will they ever grow sleepy?
As I stroll by the white walls, in my mind,
I wished, I was home with you that day!

Just a glimpse of a one long night,
Attending to a client, his eyes, so deep.
With an IV line on his left, his height about six feet.
So strong a physique, now frail, lazy and weak.
If he smiles, will mine eyes turn misty?
For I know not the extent I will long for thee.
Swiftly I shall turn away, with cold tears,
unfathomable what may surround me.

I shall take his vital signs, his cold hands held unto mine
With moist eyes, while I take his pulse rate
Like the ocean waves, rhythmically,
I shall flow with his heartbeat.
What may I know but of this man I know not?
What’s with the man that I feel in my gut?
Oh my love, will I hold you beyond the day’s tomorrow?
Will you still be, for we have vowed and said forever?

Ah, somber mystery of this man’s eyes unspeaking
Is that a mirror of an enigma,
Of life’s love with my spouse?
Why, where has this left mine heart seeking?
For I know the secret since the world has known.
And now, where has this left mine spirit fleeing?
The rite of promises, yet they are all unknown.
Alas! To the cross, I lay them down, answers He will have shown.

Wheelchairs for free

I was privileged of having to take part of giving away 30 wheelchairs to recipients around Bacolod City. For more details, please click here.

Crossroads - "Piranha Moments"

Journal entry: 13 March 2008

Bible Passage: Isaiah 40: 29-31

6:30 am - It’s a sunny morning. “I think I’ll stay home today. Maybe I’ll take a nap.” I attempted several times to take the much needed rest but it was just not possible. My daughter is home from school and I am here attending to her needs. “Ah, a classic Piranha moment,” I gasped. In two hours will be my English class.

11:00 am – Done with my English class. I have to hurry to prepare lunch! A fast-tract Piranha moment….. “Tuna Sandwiches, coming in a jiffy!” I mused.

1:30 pm – Job applications! I almost forgot about that. I need to complete and print out my resume, photocopy the transcripts and, along the way, pick up the passport-size photos I took yesterday. A typical trafficy Piranha moment! That would give me enough time to think of dinner. But first, let me take a nap!

3:30 pm - Oops! Staff meeting for Operation Care Ministry... that's this week. I better make some calls.... a Piranha sidetrip.

4:30 pm – Dinner! What’s cooking for dinner? There’s nothing in the fridge, just a couple of canned goods in the pantry! And I’m having a panic attack, a horrible Piranha moment! I’ll swing by quickly at the grocery and get some supplies. But where’s my rest? Time sped by so quickly. How in the world will I ever get me some rest? I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

5:45 pm – I’m sitting and finally able to find some time to write in my journal. “Lord, I am tired! No time to nap. I have more things to do and the kids will be home any minute from school. Where’s my rest? I just can’t do this anymore. I want to cry”. A dreadful Piranha moment.

5:50 pm – I hear the car honked! Moments later, a little girl’s voice came shouting, “Mommy, I’m home!” Oh my heavens! The true and long Piranha hour is just beginning!!! I anticipate that everyone, including our pets, are coming to get a piece of me! It’s like being encased in a fish tank filled with piranhas, wanting a bite of Mom!

I don’t know if I’m crazy or not, but the sound of my little girl’s voice, the musky smell of my hubby’s perfume, the glow of my boys’ eyes, and the tight hugs of my little princess, saying, "You're the best, Mom", make my heart leap for joy! Just like any day, is one that's filled and surrounded with piranha moments. But then, I did cry… and prayed for these times and thanked God for them. Through the kindness and mercy of God, and to see my very own five hungry and happy faces masticate the freshly fried chicken, I was at peace, a great Piranha feast! What a sight!

9:30 pm - God gave me four beautiful and wonderful children under my care, a loving husband to attend to, and knowing exactly what to do at a piranha moment, makes me wonder if I would ever survive the day without them? Ah, Piranha hours, or piranha moments, or piranha sidetrips.... whatever you want to call it. They eat me up at all sides! But they give me life! I wouldn’t mind having them close by. As long as they are around, by God’s grace, I’ll give everything I got! His word says, He is sufficient enough to supply for my every need. I stand by that promise!

At the end of the day, I have gathered the strength to face another one.... and that's tomorrow, for another set of unique piranha moments!

I will be away.....

It's been a while since I last posted. I will be away for a while but I will surely be back in no time! Take care and talk to you soon!

Lovingly,

Jenny

Those three little words......

It's so amazing how a woman can express her heart by just three little words!

Enjoy the slideshow!

http://www.slide.com/r/xcZdBjKa7D9TqiAGUcMQpJ-OQ7LSvKRD?previous_view=lt_embedded_url

Finally! The manual is finished!

After three grueling months, the first edition of this manual is born! I have authored the Operations Manual of Operation Care Ministry, an organization I am actively involved in. I will tell you more about it in the days to come. Meanwhile, view the video below. If you are led to help this ministry, please leave a comment here. Thanks!

Excerpt from The PREFACE of the Manual:

This is a standard reference document of Operation Care Ministry, the medical missions arm of Baptist Conference Church of Bacolod. This manual identifies the organizational framework, procedural guidelines for medical missions at a standard venue or in the field for domestic operations. Likewise, it serves as a comprehensive guideline for planning, coordinating and executing medical missions as presented. Also, the contents have been from past and ongoing medical mission operations and will serve as a tool for training volunteers and medical personnel.

Acknowledgements goes to:

I would like to thank Therese Hinojales for her priceless insights and tireless assistance in the review of the manual and for providing the outline; to the Team Heads, staff and volunteers of OCM for their invaluable input; to my brother, Jeffrey, though residing from miles away, still managed to extend his expertise in plotting maps, charts and flow sheets through internet linkage; to the Communication Team for assistance in lay-outs and publication; to my boss and friend, Manny Songco, for his continued encouragement; to my husband, Bim, for his unwavering love, prayers and support; to my lovely children: CJ, Jed, Daisy and Caila, whose lives have been a daily inspiration; and last but not the least, my creator and first love, God, in the person of my Savior, Jesus Christ, who has given me life, wisdom and direction as I faithfully walk in obedience, trusting every beat of His heart.

To God be the glory indeed!

February 29, 2008

Crossroads: "Opps, it's not the way I like it"

"Breakfast is ready!" It was a beautiful Monday morning but when I took a piece of the tapa (beef jerky), it tasted like paper! My heavens, there's no more substitute and no time to cook another meal. Opps, it was not the way I liked it.... I just added in more fried garlic and my kids didn't notice at all.

Took a public transportation (jeep) but rode on the wrong route! Oh heavens, I had to take a ride with the same number of kilometers back only to find myself standing at the same place where I had been. Opps, it was not the way I liked it.... Instead, I hollered for a cab. It costed me four times more but I arrived at my destination in no time.

Applied for work in a specialised nursing area but they needed someone with experience. Opps, it was not the way I liked it... I decided to do volunteer work until I'm able to accumulate a long number of hours that's required by the agency.

My scores in my English class were not satisfactory. Opps, it's not the way I like it.... I'll just practice some more drills and it's going to eat much of my time but I have to do it.

My eldest daughter had to stay home from school today due to a slight fever. Opps, it's not the way I like it. I'll stay home inspite of the many errands I have lined up to do today!

There are just many water puddles, holes and barricades along the way. Most often, they really make me feel super frustrated. But who says they rob off my joy and strip me of my self-worth?

I have a choice.

James 1:2-8 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does".

My choice is to be joyful in the midst of the storm and live life with God's wisdom.

Crossroads: “Growing Old Gracefully”

9 March 2008

I popped in the player my new Josh Groban disk as I went doing about my Sunday chores. While listening to his music and theatrical voice, all of a sudden, sadness crept into my inmost being. “Hhhhmmm, must be just the music,’ I hummed to myself. But my heart insisted that it was not Josh… it was something else....

I dropped everything and went to my place of silence and began to read my Bible.

“Why am I sad, Lord?”, was my inquiry. I sensed, however that I was undergoing one of those moments, ‘growth pangs’ in my midlife journey.

I will be 40 in 6 months. I can honestly say that life has began for me this year…. because of some obvious and not-so-obvious facts: my beautiful hair is turning white (I freaked out when I first had a couple of strands of gray hair at 32 and my friend, Jessa can attest to that!); I’m beginning to have less hours of sleep (an average of 6 hours a day); my back gets really sore after just a few minutes sitting on the computer chair; I find myself using my reading glasses more often and finding myself resigning to the fact that I could never go back to that slim figure as to 15 years ago. My son who is 15, is seldom seen at home with us on weekends. Instead, he spends his time with friends (and the fact that he’s taller than his father and wears one size bigger shoes makes me wonder if he’ll ever stop growing!) It’s all happening! I’m getting old by the day and that is what’s making me sad! You know, the worst kind that makes your stomach churn?

I had two choices: this thought could ruin my day or I could keep up and enjoy 'this' day. I tried to keep the negative thoughts out of my mind. Each time I thought about it, rejection and insecurity tried to rule the day.

I had to do something. “An idle mind is the devils workshop”, so they say. I attempted to trim my youngest daughter’s hair and while my mind was occupied at last, she said, “Mom, my hair is beautiful now but yours is nicer. You’re very pretty mommy. Someday, when I grow up, I will look like you too.” What a thing for a 5-year old to say at the time when I needed some encouragement to lift my spirit! I don't call that coincidence, do you?

While my fingers were engaged with my daughter’s delicate hair and the comb and the sharp pair of scissors, I continued to reminisce the times when my husband and I would go out on our weekly “dates”. He never missed to tell me that I look beautiful!

Then, my Lord led me to Psalm 45: 9-17,

9 Daughters of kings are among your honored women;

at your right hand is the royal bride in gold of Ophir.

10 Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear:

Forget your people and your father's house.

11 The king is enthralled by your beauty;

honor him, for he is your lord.

12 The Daughter of Tyre will come with a gift,

men of wealth will seek your favor.

13 All glorious is the princess within her chamber ;

her gown is interwoven with gold.

14 In embroidered garments she is led to the king;

her virgin companions follow her and are brought to you.

15 They are led in with joy and gladness;

they enter the palace of the king.

16 Your sons will take the place of your fathers;

you will make them princes throughout the land.

17 I will perpetuate your memory through all generations;

therefore the nations will praise you for ever and ever.

My Lord thinks I’m beautiful [v. 9].

My Lord thinks I’m glorious within [v.13].

My Lord opens opportunities for me and bring me to high places [v.14-15].

My sons will be successful [v. 16].

I will be remembered by all the generations after me [v. 17].

Wow! What wonderful assurance! How wonderful are His promises! How awesome is His love for me!

Thank you Lord. Thank you for loving me just the way I am.

The Lord’s plan for me doesn’t end with the advancement of age. My desire is for Him to use me for His kingdom in my older years. As He has promised in Psalm 92; 12-14:

12 The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,

they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;

13 planted in the house of the LORD,

they will flourish in the courts of our God.

14 They will still bear fruit in old age,

they will stay fresh and green,

God is changing me from one degree higher. Because of Jesus, I have hidden beauty of the heart that makes me grow old gracefully. Like wine, as it ages, tastes more heavenly!

And the fact that my Lord, my husband, and my daughter, they all think I’m beautiful....

My soul rests.

A letter to Grace R.

Dear Grace R.,

Much to my surprise for the gift you sent for me today, my heart was just encouraged to know that I am not alone in my journey. We can relate to each other and that's wonderful! I praise God for you. Please, let me thank you from the bottom of my heart, this gift.... this unexpected beautiful gift is beyond words can describe. I may not know you personally but it seems that I already know you by heart.

Blessings always!

Jenny

“Crossroads” - I didn’t see it

The last few days have been pretty grueling. Three of my children stayed home from school because of the flu. I’m physically exhausted for I have to get up at 3 in the morning to give my daughter her dose of medicine. And every time I tried to return to sleep, I’m more likely to toss back my head with eyes wide open. And if I did, I wake up the next day, groggy.

One evening, after a disappointing night from my IELTS class, I turned to my husband and told him that I was not getting up at 3 in the morning to give Caila’s dose of medicine. Instead, I suggested to alter her medication therapy by getting up early the next day and give her dose at 6. It was a lousy plan but having to cut my sleep was the last thing in my mind. I was just dying to get a full straight sleep.

My husband thought otherwise. He volunteered to get up at 3 am to give Caila her dose while I was catching my much needed rest.

That morning, I got a message from him and this was what he wrote:

“Last night just before sleeping, God impressed to me something that changed my view of things and made the task much lighter. He reminded me of SERVANTHOOD "see others first before you see yourself." when you said that you would give Caila's meds in the morning instead of at 3am, I knew you were not up to it because you were feeling down and needed rest. I understood that and so I volunteered but my flesh was also tired and wanted to agree with you to give the meds in the morning. But I felt Caila's cough needed attention and that those meds would help, yet, getting up at 3am would interrupt my comfort zone. So God impressed those words to me and I immediately felt the burden leave me. I felt that I would now do the task for the benefit of Caila even if it meant cutting my rest.

“This morning I felt a burden of handling my small group of rowdy school boys. They are just so difficult to handle and they drain me out. But the Lord reminded me again just like last night "see others first before you see yourself," and just like last night, the burden immediately went away.”

“I share this with you because this might help you out too. love you babe.”

I didn’t see this. In my heart, I knew I was capable of going the extra mile. I have the ability and strength to get up in the wee hours to give my daughter her dose but I decided not to do so.

Upon reading my husbands message, I was reminded by Philippines 2: 3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

I was convicted by the Holy Spirit. As I was going through the study of this verse, I realized the full meaning of it. It says:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit…. It was necessary for me to point out those undesirable attitudes. Possessing an attitude of “self-centeredness” will destroy me, my relationships, and the unity in the body of Christ. God brought me back to my desert experience and reminded me that this was the very first thing He wanted me to break. Instead, humility should be my priority in all that I do. It should be uncomplicated to maintain if I kept in mind my own faults and weaknesses and my vulnerability to sin. When humility is lived out, God is glorified.

“Consider others better than yourselves”…. Again, I was reminded to look WITHIN and see my own heart condition with all its faults. I cannot keep looking at the faults of others when I, myself, is loaded with unpleasing attitudes. (Romans 12:10b “in honor giving preference to one another)

“but also to the interests of others”….. If I look at the good side of other people and how valuable they are to God, this should eliminate my problem of "selfish ambition”.

God is continually cutting branches that are not bearing fruit…. It’s painful but I know it is for me to grow and mature so I can bear much fruit for His glory. I thank God for my husband who has shown and reminded me this truth.

Passage reference: Ephesians 4:1-32

Crossroads - "The Dash"

This video was forwarded to me by my friend, Loreen. I hope it will bless you too!



I hope you enjoy this as much as I did, and maybe it will help you take life a little slower and with more meaning.

In July 2006, a short 3-minute movie was launched on the Internet called The Dash. Since then, over 40 million people from around the world have watched it; and over 20,000 a day continue to watch it as a result of people passing it along.

The movie has been more successful than we could have ever imagined. More importantly, however, it has inspired many, many people to reflect on their lives and ask that all important question, 'Are my priorities where they should be?'

I hope you enjoy this movie and share it with those who are close to you.

Live the Life You Have Imagined!

Just Give

Luke 6:38 "Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you." (NIV)

I have learned that giving is such a fulfilling thing! It was modeled to us by God Himself when He gave His only begotten Son to us to save the world from eternal condemnation. Giving is not dependent on the condition of our checkbooks or the balances of our savings account. Giving is dependent on the condition of our hearts.

Giving shouldn’t be expensive or entail expense. There are many ways to give. Let me share some creative ways to give gifts that are straight from the heart:

1. A homemade gift. Giving something you make represents time and effort invested on the recipient's behalf. Each year, I always make it a point that I make something for Christmas as gifts. It has become a family tradition and we just love the thought of giving something that my family makes. (Whet Your Appetite)

2. A treasured gift. Give something you already have, something that is of special value to you. Not your junk, but your treasure. Don't ask the question, "What can I buy for Anna?" Ask the question, "What do I have that would mean a lot to Anna?" I happen to one time weed out my closet and found treasured curtains that I sewed myself. I asked the Lord to whom I should be giving them and He impressed in my heart the names of people to whom I should give the curtains to.

3. A gift of encouragement. Tell someone what they mean to you. Write it down so they can read your encouraging words several times. Writing it down can help you say it better and requires more time and thought. You can also make a tape or CD of encouraging words and thoughts for those who can't see well or for that hurried mom who spends much of her life in a car. In my journal, I have several notes tucked as bookmarks for special verses; notes of encouragement from my daughter and friends that have kept me on my feet during difficult times. (Daisy’s letter to me)

4. A blind gift. Give a gift to someone you don't know; a gift that is given in Jesus' name, just because you love Him. I recently read an article about a millionaire who sets aside large sums of money at Christmas. Dressed in a disguise, he then walks the streets, pressing $100 bills into the hands of the needy. "It makes my whole year," he says. As for my experience, I am always encouraged to receive a surprise gift like a bar of chocolate from an anonymous giver. My heart just bloats to know that someone thinks of me.

5. A secret gift. Give a gift to someone you know without them knowing who gave it. Give with no hidden motive and with no possible benefit to yourself. Like most families in the ministry, Bim and I are on an extremely tight budget. At several occasions, we had no money for groceries, a fact we shared with no one but God. We wanted to see what He would do. And just as when we needed it, an anonymous giver sends us either bags of groceries or an envelop with money or check in it. God is awesome! We don't know who gave us the gifts but every time I remember them, I ask God to bless them for their secret gift. (“Do You believe in Santa Claus?)

6. A gift of time. When we give thirty minutes of time, we are giving thirty minutes of life. My mother is in her old age and as often as I possibly can, I see to it that my family visits her. Along with Bim and the children, we spend a few hours with her. Our presence means a lot to her and I can see it in her eyes that she treasures our visits.

May you find real meaning in giving by sharing a part of what you are blessed with!

Maranatha,

"Crossroads" - Change my heart, Oh God

Late afternoon yesterday, as I was about to disembark from a cab to get to my IELTS class, there was this fat lady on her motorcycle, who impulsively uttered a “nasty” word at me. I thought at first she was just talking to herself. When I got off the cab, with a tempestuous look, she raged at me and said, “You could have stayed longer in the cab!” “Whoa! Was she talking to me?” As I walked passed her, she started her motorbike and sped away. “What did I do?” I later realized that the cab stopped in front of her preventing her from getting out to the main street. “Hey, it’s not my fault,” mutely, I reasoned with crossed brows.

As I was walking towards the escalator, I mused to myself, “There are just bitter, angry, and nasty people in this world.” Then it hit me, just as I was climbing up the last set of stairs to the third floor of the building, God impressed in my heart that I am like that too.

I stopped for a moment and pondered on the impression into my heart. I whispered, “That’s so ugly, Lord! What are you trying to tell me?”

I realized that I can be despicable in my words, in my actions and in my thoughts. Oftentimes, I can be harsh with my words to others without me knowing it. When I’m in a hurry and stressed out, I can be impatient and my actions will show it. When I see people’s mistakes, I think of their weaknesses as stupidity. All these are ugly manifestations contained in me! I’m no different from that fat woman I met earlier.

Before I walked in the room, I uttered a short prayer, “Lord God, forgive me. Forgive my bitter heart. Change my heart, Oh God. I ask you to take away bitterness and anger from me. I ask you to teach me to be forgiving, to be forbearing, and to honor others so I can bless them with kindness, patience and love. In Your precious name, Jesus. Amen.”

Sweet Blessings,

Oops, I have reached my CROSSROADS!

Hi! I know I have not blogged here lately..... for several reasons:

..... can't find the time

..... been writing devotional articles for the Day by Day website (http://wop-daybyday.blogspot.com/)

..... laptap's been really, really slow. I had to defrag but it's been a drag lately. I wonder if I needed to increase the speed and memory? Hhhhhmmmmm....... Danjo, I need your expert advise!

..... joined an out-of-town 3-day retreat with other godly women

..... with being out of town for a few days, I need to reorganize my "home"

..... my IELTS (International English Language Testing System) evening classes has started ... that leaves me with very little time with my family .....i try to spend more time with my children when I'm around them... when they get home from school and not with my computer.

..... I'm at my crossroads.....

..... i would like to leave my Martha role and begin to walk like Mary.... I want to spend more time with my Lord.... I find a need to reorient myself .... systems need to be in order according to "right priorities"..... been doing a lot of Martha activities all my life!.... it's time to be still..... but of course, you'll hear of me, but not as often as I used to.... but don't fret, my friends. I'll be around.... as always.... infact, i'll be writing more about my "Crossroads" experience soon..... so please get excited....

.... and I also want to know if I'm being missed.....

Sweet Blessings,