Sunday, September 4, 2005

Is Your Car Available?

September 04, 2005

As I was about to leave the house to attend the 5:30 service, the car wouldn’t start. Impatiently every minute, I tried to start it several times and frantically was so concerned that I was going to be late. I prayed but my dilemma was overpowered by impatience. I sent a text message to my husband to rescue me, but since he was doing his regular monthly teaching at church, I was left with so much hopelessness and frustration. Finally, Bim arrived. He patiently tied a rope at the tail of his motorcycle and the other end to the front of the car so he could pull it to get it to start. At 6:15, we were able to get it started and I, with so much aggravation, stepped on the accelerator and took off without saying a word. (pabulhutan ko aso bana ko kag pa igotan ah! Init gid ko!)
As I was driving towards Ikthus, fuming thoughts began to fill my mind. “If only we had sold this car for a much better one, if only…...etc. etc.” I admit, I was mad and irritated to have such a defective car!
We acquired this double cab pick up truck from an uncle when we no longer fit in our single cab red pick-up in 1993. (Our family then was growing very fast!). When we had it, the body was worn out but the engine was in good condition. We had to do a lot of face lifts to get it to crisp condition.
We've had other cars, they come and they go, but this car has been with us for 12 years of trusty service, and somehow we could not part with it. It has hauled our belongings when we moved in to our built house in 1997. It has served in the church hauling the youth to and from their summer camps. It has been a great part in my other extra income generating activities: planning weddings and child dedications/christenings, this car has been such a great help with heavy duty paraphelnalias! It's so hard working that if it were human and dies, surely, it will receive a crown in heaven.
This car has gone through a lot too. Every now and then, it stalls in the middle of the road. The lights wouldn’t work so it’s often seen and parked at the service station for all kinds of repairs. But one thing I noticed about this car that brought me into a striking realization. It never complains and would always be readily available to serve my family as its master for the next haul.
God’s word tonight hit me like a big blow when I suddenly realize that my car has taught me a big lesson. When Pastor Joe asked, “Is your car available?” The Lord was speaking to me in my circumstance. It takes a while for me to reach overwhelmed. I can competently manage most things I'm responsible for and have an independent nature, but months of strain had taken its toll. Thus when little “irritants” such as this unexpectedly happen, it was easy to admit that the situation was too much for me to handle.
A good thing about being overwhelmed is the realization that we are not in control.
Intellectually, I remind myself of that truth often, but it doesn't sink in to a gut level. Instead, I continually live my life as if everything depended on me. Therefore, it is a positive thing to face the reality that circumstances and people are beyond the scope of my power to regulate.
Still, the best part of being overwhelmed is that God looks after us.
There was nothing I could do about the situation; I couldn't fathom a solution -- I couldn't even try.
Then, God intervened (as He always does!). He sent my husband to do something about it. God provided for ways for a solution, just as He has always provided for all of my family’s needs, both physical and emotional. I was thoroughly amazed by His mercy and grace.
To whom does God show mercy? To those who fear and honor Him (Psalm 103:11), To those who ask (Acts 2:21), To those with sincere hearts (Deuteronomy 13:18), To those who don’t deserve it (Psalm 103:8-10), To anyone God chooses (Exodus 33:19).
So, let me ask myself again, “Is my Car Available and does it conk out in the middle of the road?” There was only one question left in my mind: Why didn't I stop trying and let God look after me sooner?

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