The Big 40

JOURNAL ENTRY: October 3, 2008

I stopped counting at 33. Whenever someone asks for my age, I can easily figure it out with a little math by calculating the sum between my natal year and the current year. I bet you’ve done that too!

I just turned 40 today and I feel great! I was actually looking forward to this day for the past months. But am I ready for the inevitable? Where am I now? What’s in it for me?

I was bombarded with these questions. Fortunately, answers came rushing through from the back of my head.

Along with juggling a busy life, I’m also dealing with a great amount of change. I am entering a new stage of life and facing challenges that I have never faced before.

The BIG 40. Some say life starts here. How so?

Firstly, I now have specific nutritional needs that are much different from those of men and younger women. I have bouts of sudden mood swings, headaches, cravings, and all the other issues of pre menopause, so they say. It's crazy, but it’s true! There was a time in my journey when I looked in the mirror and—yikes!—where did that paunchy middle come from? I seem to gain weight overnight while battling fatigue, irritability, and all kinds of body aches!

Then, a need to forever tag along my reading glasses and catching myself plucking a few stubs of silver hair every now and then while launching two handsome boys into adulthood... the wake up call…. Yes, I’m definitely here.

Secondly, I have a better view of where I am heading. My priorities are in order. I’m done on the side of distraction by that gnawing voice inside of me. I guess I learned the lesson that too much inward focus can be stifling. It inhibited my ability to act, my inability to interact with others, and my service to my Saviour as well. It inhibited my ability to really grow.

For the past months prior to this day, I realized that when I started to begin to believe and not fear, act according to my faith, and decide to reach out and care, I found the answers to my questions! I felt more energized. Otherwise I continue to spin around and around and feel old! It's dizzying and confusing and oftentimes, I was led to make choices that take me out of my life’s mission.

The Almighty has been good to me. I have a beautiful family, a house filled with love and activity and a community full of opportunities!

So I'm moving forward.

I’m 40 and I’m glad I know where I am, who I am, my life’s purpose and mission in life. I have so much hope where forgotten dreams are coming to fruition! I will find myself doing things I have never done before!

My prayer is to shine for Jesus, and make a difference for the glory of my Father in heaven!

Praise Him!