Friday, February 8, 2008

"Crossroads" - Change my heart, Oh God

Late afternoon yesterday, as I was about to disembark from a cab to get to my IELTS class, there was this fat lady on her motorcycle, who impulsively uttered a “nasty” word at me. I thought at first she was just talking to herself. When I got off the cab, with a tempestuous look, she raged at me and said, “You could have stayed longer in the cab!” “Whoa! Was she talking to me?” As I walked passed her, she started her motorbike and sped away. “What did I do?” I later realized that the cab stopped in front of her preventing her from getting out to the main street. “Hey, it’s not my fault,” mutely, I reasoned with crossed brows.

As I was walking towards the escalator, I mused to myself, “There are just bitter, angry, and nasty people in this world.” Then it hit me, just as I was climbing up the last set of stairs to the third floor of the building, God impressed in my heart that I am like that too.

I stopped for a moment and pondered on the impression into my heart. I whispered, “That’s so ugly, Lord! What are you trying to tell me?”

I realized that I can be despicable in my words, in my actions and in my thoughts. Oftentimes, I can be harsh with my words to others without me knowing it. When I’m in a hurry and stressed out, I can be impatient and my actions will show it. When I see people’s mistakes, I think of their weaknesses as stupidity. All these are ugly manifestations contained in me! I’m no different from that fat woman I met earlier.

Before I walked in the room, I uttered a short prayer, “Lord God, forgive me. Forgive my bitter heart. Change my heart, Oh God. I ask you to take away bitterness and anger from me. I ask you to teach me to be forgiving, to be forbearing, and to honor others so I can bless them with kindness, patience and love. In Your precious name, Jesus. Amen.”

Sweet Blessings,

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