Friday, February 22, 2008

“Crossroads” - I didn’t see it

The last few days have been pretty grueling. Three of my children stayed home from school because of the flu. I’m physically exhausted for I have to get up at 3 in the morning to give my daughter her dose of medicine. And every time I tried to return to sleep, I’m more likely to toss back my head with eyes wide open. And if I did, I wake up the next day, groggy.

One evening, after a disappointing night from my IELTS class, I turned to my husband and told him that I was not getting up at 3 in the morning to give Caila’s dose of medicine. Instead, I suggested to alter her medication therapy by getting up early the next day and give her dose at 6. It was a lousy plan but having to cut my sleep was the last thing in my mind. I was just dying to get a full straight sleep.

My husband thought otherwise. He volunteered to get up at 3 am to give Caila her dose while I was catching my much needed rest.

That morning, I got a message from him and this was what he wrote:

“Last night just before sleeping, God impressed to me something that changed my view of things and made the task much lighter. He reminded me of SERVANTHOOD "see others first before you see yourself." when you said that you would give Caila's meds in the morning instead of at 3am, I knew you were not up to it because you were feeling down and needed rest. I understood that and so I volunteered but my flesh was also tired and wanted to agree with you to give the meds in the morning. But I felt Caila's cough needed attention and that those meds would help, yet, getting up at 3am would interrupt my comfort zone. So God impressed those words to me and I immediately felt the burden leave me. I felt that I would now do the task for the benefit of Caila even if it meant cutting my rest.

“This morning I felt a burden of handling my small group of rowdy school boys. They are just so difficult to handle and they drain me out. But the Lord reminded me again just like last night "see others first before you see yourself," and just like last night, the burden immediately went away.”

“I share this with you because this might help you out too. love you babe.”

I didn’t see this. In my heart, I knew I was capable of going the extra mile. I have the ability and strength to get up in the wee hours to give my daughter her dose but I decided not to do so.

Upon reading my husbands message, I was reminded by Philippines 2: 3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

I was convicted by the Holy Spirit. As I was going through the study of this verse, I realized the full meaning of it. It says:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit…. It was necessary for me to point out those undesirable attitudes. Possessing an attitude of “self-centeredness” will destroy me, my relationships, and the unity in the body of Christ. God brought me back to my desert experience and reminded me that this was the very first thing He wanted me to break. Instead, humility should be my priority in all that I do. It should be uncomplicated to maintain if I kept in mind my own faults and weaknesses and my vulnerability to sin. When humility is lived out, God is glorified.

“Consider others better than yourselves”…. Again, I was reminded to look WITHIN and see my own heart condition with all its faults. I cannot keep looking at the faults of others when I, myself, is loaded with unpleasing attitudes. (Romans 12:10b “in honor giving preference to one another)

“but also to the interests of others”….. If I look at the good side of other people and how valuable they are to God, this should eliminate my problem of "selfish ambition”.

God is continually cutting branches that are not bearing fruit…. It’s painful but I know it is for me to grow and mature so I can bear much fruit for His glory. I thank God for my husband who has shown and reminded me this truth.

Passage reference: Ephesians 4:1-32

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow... they don't make them like bimbo anymore. You're blessed...